When words fail, music speaks
by LorMenari
Summary: Each chapter is a different song and relates to Twilight. Some are canon while others are not. Hope you like. Rating for language.
1. It Ends Tonight

**I'm doing an excercise. I put on a song on my ipod, listen to it and write what comes to me. This one was to "It Ends Tonight" by All American Rejects.**

* * *

_When darkness turns to light_

_It ends tonight, it ends tonight_

_Just a little insight won't make this right_

_It's too late to fight, it ends tonight_

[It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects]

I am done. She keeps breaking my heart and I know I can't keep fighting. There is no point. She chose him and he doesn't want me to see her. I guess I can't convince her. I've tried to explain myself to her countless times but she won't accept what I know she feels.

I want her so bad. Hell, I need her. I hate myself for punishing myself like this. I wish I didn't need her.

"Jake. We need to talk."

I was so engrossed in what I was thinking I didn't hear her approach me. I thought I was alone on the beach.

"Don't Bella."

"Please, you are my best friend," she whispered as she started crying.

"It hurts too damn much," I barely got out.

"Please…I never wanted to hurt you."

"It's so hard to be mad at you," I told her.

"Jake, I do love you…"

"But you love him more. I know."

Why was she so hell-bent on hurting me?

"I can't help the way I feel, Jake," she said as she sat down next to me.

"I know."

And the crazy thing was I did know. I can't help the way I feel about her. So, in a way, I understood. But just because I understood doesn't mean it was any easier to me.

"I told him yes," she said quietly after a few minutes of silence.

"You're getting married. That's fucking awesome," I told her, bitterness coating my words.

"Jake…I want you to come. Be my beset man…you know?"

"Why would you seriously ask me to do that?" I yelled, getting angrier and angrier.

"You once told me that you would always be on my side. Well, I need you for this Jake."

I got up immediately. I was beyond pissed.

"I'm sorry…but it's time I am on my own side. I can't do this anymore."

"This is killing me just as much as it's killing you," she had the audacity to say as she got up to stand behind me.

"No it's not! Now I have fucking heard it all! God, Bella, you are going to be my enemy soon. Do you really think I can go to your mock funeral with you Dad? Pretending to mourn you when I want to kill you? Do you think I will be alright when your natural lavender and other indescribable smell that make you Bella is gone and replaced with the stench of the walking dead? Do you really think I will survive when your heart stops beating? I can't be here for that!"

She was openly crying after my mini tirade. I felt bad but for once I wanted her to feel something over me. I wanted her to know that I wasn't always going to be there.

And yes, I felt bad, but I was sick with grief over losing her to the bloodsucker. Especially after everything he had done. He had completely broken her. She was a zombie. I put her back together. I took the time and I fell in love with her. Charlie said she was back to herself almost. He also said he liked how she was when she was with me. That she didn't act like her true self when she was with the leech. Except he didn't exactly use the world leech.

"Don't leave me."

That killed me. I once promised her that I would never leave her. But, she had who she really wanted and he was marrying her.

"Damnit Bells! This has to end!"

"You called me Bells," she said as she stopped crying.

I cringed at that. I was trying so hard not to call her by that nickname.

"The whole time you've said Bella but that was Bells," and she wrapped her arms around me from behind.

I relaxed into her embrace. I can't do this. I have to be strong but she's the girl I'm completely in love with.

"See Jake. It's us. You don't have to leave me," she said into my back.

"Bella…after the wedding you will be leaving me…"

"I…I…wish I didn't have to…"

I groaned because she really had a way of getting to me.

"You want to be with him…I guess that's just the way it has to be…"

"I had to get Rosalie to bring me here," she said out of no where.

"Who?"

"The blond…"

"Why?"

"Edward killed my truck. Rosalie dropped me off at the treaty line and Seth picked me up."

"Why did you go through all the trouble…? And why did your bloodsucking-"

"I had to see you! Can't you see Jake…I need you in my life."

"See, that's the thing…you said 'life' and that means being alive…soon you won't be…"

"I wish there was no such thing as vampires and werewolves and we were all human…"

"I would still be in love with you and he would still be…it wouldn't change much, Bella."

"No, Jake…he would've already died. It would be just you and me."

I knew she was right and the alternative life she was describing sounded so good it nearly broke my heart all over again.

"Don't. Do you know how much that kills me?"

"And it kills me every minute you hate me. Every minute Edward tells me you are not safe and I am not allowed to see you."

I rolled my eyes when she said 'not allowed.' What kind of boyfriend forbids his girlfriend from seeing who she wants?

"Do you hear yourself? Not allowed? That's insane!"

"I know."

"So, why do you put up with it?"

"They do so much for me…I don't want to be a burden or make them leave me again."

"Ridiculous Bella…"

"But…I went against him today."

"Why did…the blond one help?"

"She wants me to stay human."

I finally turned towards her and she dropped her arms from me. I immediately missed her.

"We all do, Bells. The pack loves you like a little sister. Charlie is going to be devastated. So will Renee. What about Angela? And I would…I will…God."

"I know. It's what I have to deal with every day. It hurts so much."

"Then don't do it. Stay with me. Stay human."

"I'm sorry, Jake. I'm marrying Edward."

I backed away and phased. I ran and I didn't look back.

* * *

**I hope y'all liked it. Please review and let me know! Thanks!**


	2. Pickin' Wildflowers

****

**I had both of these written sometimes earlier this week so y'all got lucky! :)**

* * *

_Hey baby, Mother Nature is waiting'_

_And love's bloomin' like a cherry tree_

_Let's buzz around, maybe do some pollenating_

_Dive on in like honey bees_

[Pickin' Wildfowers – Anderson Keith]

Paul knew it was love at first sight. Rachel fought it like the plague. In the end, it was inevitable. She fell for the charm and the pull of her wolf. However, this did not mean that Paul had changed. Sure, Rachel was the only girl he would ever be with again, but that didn't mean the horniness that is Paul went away. On the contrary, and it made Jake sick.

"Hey baby," Paul said as he met Rachel on the porch of her father's house.

"Hi," she replied.

"What are you doing around four? I don't have to patrol tonight."

"No specific plans. What's on your mind?"

"Wanna go pick wildflowers?" he asked with a suggestive lift of his eyebrows.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I'll grab a six pack and we don't have to tell your dad," he said with a wink.

"Dad doesn't care. Why the sudden interest in mother nature?"

"I don't know…maybe we could do some pollenating?"

"Paul!" she said with girlish laughter.

"What? We could pretend we are honey bees and practice breeding."

"We did that this morning!"

"It never hurts to do it again! Practice makes perfect. At least that's what you used to tell me in t-ball," he said with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and placed a kiss on her boyfriend's lips.

"So is that a yes?"

"That's a maybe."

"But Rach…" he said pouting.

"Oh goodness! Don't use the puppy dog look! You boys are all too good at that!"

"But I'm the best, right?"

"Always. You are always the best."

"I love you. Did you know that?"

"Yeah…I think I've been told that once or twice. I love you too."

"So…about this evening…"

"Meet you at our spot?"

"Hell yeah!"

* * *

**Hope y'all liked it! Reviews are loved!**


	3. The Hardest Thing

**Well, the next song on my list of ten is the song "Hardest Thing" by 98 Degrees...but I took it in a slightly different path than what most would think. Hope you like and review!**

**

* * *

**

_It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do_

_To look you in the eye_

_And tell you I don't love you_

_It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie_

_To show no emotion when you start to cry_

[The Hardest Thing - 98 Degrees]

I hated doing it. I hated walking away from him. I loved him. I know most people would not ever believe it, but I did. He had healed me when I thought there was no surviving. He was my sun. But, it was time to end this. I had to do it tonight. So, I got out of my truck and made my way to his house and knocked.

"Hello, Bella," his dad answered, knowing I was here to hurt his son some more.

"Hi. Is Jake here?"

"No, he went for a walk on the beach. You can find him there."

"Thanks," I said as he shut the door.

I had to find him. I had to stop hurting him and stop hurting Edward. It was not fair. I had finally got to the beach and I saw him. He looked so beautiful just sitting by our driftwood. I felt sick to my stomach.

"Jake…"

He turned to me, sadness in his eyes. He knew why I was here. I sat down beside him and laid my head on his bicep.

"Bella…please…don't do this."

"It's not fair. It's not fair to any of us. I promised to be his. Forever. He's waiting for me and I can't hurt him anymore. And this – this sharing of me is hurting him. It's hurting you and it's for sure hurting me."

"I'm trying to be strong about this, Bells…but it's so hard. I love you."

"He does too. And he's been good to me. He deserves better than this indecision I still seem to be showing."

"Stay with me tonight. Please…I just want to hold you one more night."

"Oh God…" I said before almost breaking down completely.

"Please?"

"I can't."

"I know you love me. Bella, I know you do."

This was the part that was going to kill me. I was going to have to lie to my best friend. I was going to have to walk away and not let him know how I truly felt.

I turned my head away from him so he wouldn't see the tears slowly falling down my face, "I don't."

He let out a whimper and I felt my resolve shake. I stood up and started walking away from him. My heart wasn't free to give away.

"Bella…" he choked out.

He was crying. And I had to somehow pretend that I didn't care. But I had to. I had to let him live his life. Because one day he would find someone worth all the pain. It just wasn't me. And every day I would think about him and send my love to him. He just would never know.

"How can you just…stand there…"

"Jake…"

"No Bella…you don't freaking understand. You are everything to me. Every freaking thing…and I can't give you up. I don't even know why I care so much, but God help me I do. I love you with every fiber of my being. I burn for you."

My breathes start coming shorter and I am overwhelmed be emotion. Edward always told me I was his life and I had his heart but this…this was amazing. This was passion…something that Edward was lacking when it came to me.

"Jacob…"

"Please don't say my whole name…call me Jake…please…"

"Jake…"

"Thank you. Bella…Bells…please…I can give you everything you want. Do you want to go to college? I'll let you do whatever…want to run away to Vegas and elope? I'll get the car ready. Want to stay on the beach forever? Well, I know how to fish. Bells, honey, I'll do what you want."

I was facing away from him now and he was turned toward me. He came up behind me and I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck. I was so in love with this guy and my head was spinning.

"Bells…I…I don't have a lot of money and I can't buy you fancy rings but if it what you want I will work every day to get you that."

"I don't want the fancy things, Jake…"

"Then, tell me, Bella, what do you want?" he said as he wrapped his arms around me.

I turned in his arms…I knew that I wasn't walking away from him.

"You," I said right before he placed his lips to mine in a fiery kiss.

I was tired of living a lie.

* * *

**So, there it is. Hope you liked it and was not dissapointed. Reviews are loved...adored...and make me smile!**


End file.
